Coming Up for Air Read online

  He was a smart crazy person at least, but that didn’t help the situation. Leigh had to focus on the Morettis, on what to say when he saw Sweeney, on how to get himself out of this mess so he didn’t end up dead some other way tonight, without having to flee the city. He’d break parole if he did that, and the money he’d saved so far wouldn’t last him long on the run.

  Maybe the Morettis didn’t know where he lived. If they did, surely they would have sent someone to rummage through his things, looking for that extra cash. Maybe they did know and someone was on their way now. No point in rushing over when they thought him dead.

  “Tolly, just put the housecoat back on or grab a towel. I’ll get you some clothes—”

  “Do you not find my form pleasing?”

  Out of the corner of Leigh’s eye, he could tell Tolly stood facing him, hands running down his hips and thighs like he really was unused to legs. “It is very pleasing, but it’s not…. I hardly know you.”

  “Ah yes, human decorum. I might fail at that on occasion, but I will try my best. I know so much of your world, but I have not experienced it firsthand. Still, you know me better than you think through our connection. The Breath of Life is a powerful bond. I am yours now. You are welcome to look at me.”

  Leigh was certain some of the porn he’d watched over the years had lines like that. “Tolly….”

  “I do not wish to make you uncomfortable. I will get into the tub to conceal myself until the water is high enough. Hopefully you will not find my tail displeasing.”

  Tolly lowered himself into the tub, and Leigh allowed a glance in his direction. Even mostly hidden, he was enchanting to look at. Despite having come from the water last night, his hair had perfect body and poof to it. Why did someone so gorgeous and who had saved Leigh’s life have to be nuts?

  “I have to figure out how to handle those men who tried to kill me. Do you understand?”

  “Of course. I will help you.”

  “No offense, but you’re a little skinny to be a bodyguard. This is going to take strategic planning.”

  “I am an excellent planner. I often have to dodge others of my kin. I am not popular, as I do not conform to the merfolk ways. Kill or be killed—it loses all the magic of life, even when magic surrounds me in the water. How can one live like that?”

  Leigh almost took the words as an attack, though he knew Tolly didn’t mean it that way. He’d never killed anyone before, but his plans to rise in the ranks with Sweeney meant one day he would. Kill or be killed was the only way he could survive in this city.

  “You were right, warm water is nice, though the cold can be pleasant too.” Tolly tilted his head back and sank lower into the tub.

  Scrubbing a hand down his face, Leigh was thinking of how to get this naked delusional poet out of his apartment without drawing the attention of his neighbors when he heard a strange wet slap and a contented sigh.

  “There, you see? I am merfolk, but you gave me legs, and now, I am yours.”

  The red glimmer in Leigh’s periphery before he looked up had to be an illusion because of how tired he was. There was no way it could be anything else.

  But when his gaze focused on Tolly in the tub once more, it wasn’t a pair of feet propped on the edge but the unfurling of the most beautiful deep red tailfin he had ever laid eyes on, trimmed in gold-tipped scales.

  “Holy shit.”

  Chapter 2

  TOLLY HOPED it was not disgust he saw filling Leigh’s face. He understood that it must be a shock. Humans did not believe in Tolly’s kind anymore, or much of any magic, but surely Leigh felt their connection, that Tolly meant him no harm and only wanted to be….

  Well.

  Loved.

  But he could not tell Leigh that. The magic of the Breath of Life prevented it. He could tell Leigh that he was his. He could ask to stay with him. He could try to court him the way he had never attempted with any of his kin—he stayed away from other merfolk and was lucky he was such a fast swimmer and had never been caught—but he could not tell Leigh plainly that the only way he could keep his legs for longer than the next full moon was if his pact-bearer, the one who had given him legs, offered him a vow of love.

  He also could not tell Leigh that if that did not happen, he would be put to death when the spell broke and the others came for him.

  Some of his fellows would jump at the chance to pursue him for that purpose.

  “Holy shit,” Leigh said, more stunned than horrified, Tolly hoped.

  “You are welcome to touch it if you like,” he said with a light flick of his tailfin, just enough to fan it out, not to splash any water. Maybe that was too forward, but Tolly could not remember a time when anyone caressed his tail in kindness, and Leigh had such exquisite hands.

  Leigh’s eyes widened, wonder overtaking him the way magic often affected humans, but he shifted a small step closer to look on Tolly fully.

  His tail was not the most impressive, but Tolly had always been fond of his colors. Deep red and gold made him sparkle in the right light. Leigh said his human form was pleasing. He hoped his tail was, too, even if Leigh did find it strange at first.

  This version of himself was much lovelier than his true form.

  More than anything, more than his own life, Tolly did not want the pact to break and for Leigh to recoil when he saw what he truly looked like beneath the spell. He did not want Leigh to think of him as ugly or monstrous. The illusion was better.

  Leigh reached out, but before his fingers could touch the edge of Tolly’s tail, it gave another unconscious flick, and Leigh flinched like he had blinked awake from a gripping dream.

  “I’m losing my mind,” he said as he backed toward the door, then turned to escape the room entirely.

  “Leigh….” Tolly tried not to let his heart sink as deeply as it wanted to. If Leigh shunned him now, all would be lost. But he knew Leigh had to be the one. His kin might call him a hapless dreamer for wanting anything more than cruel fun at a human’s expense, but he thought the old legends beautiful.

  The stories said that if one of his kin found the right human, the one destined for them, they would feel it, know it, and be drawn to save them from a watery grave. A single kiss was all it took to seal the pact, the Breath of Life connecting them as it gave the human the ability to breathe once more and sealed their fates together.

  Afterward, if the merfolk chose to step out of the water, they would find themselves on legs, unsteady but surer with every step. They needed only to follow their human and woo them to love them, and together they could live happily on land or sea.

  Tolly wanted that so badly, he could barely stand the thought of one more day alone in the depths.

  He did not need to be dry to recall his legs, but it still took him a moment to change back and stagger onto his feet to find a towel as Leigh had suggested so he would not drip water all over Leigh’s home. Humans preferred things dry usually.

  “Leigh!” he called as he wrapped the towel around his waist and hurried into the main room.

  He did not see Leigh at first and panic overtook him as he feared the man had fled, but then he saw him standing out on the—what was it called?—fire escape! He had climbed out the window and stood outside gripping the railing.

  Not trusting himself to climb after him while encumbered by the towel, Tolly pleaded through the window. “Do you find me so terrible? So startling? I do not need to call out my tail. I can be human for you. I only wished for you to believe me.”

  “I believe you. I don’t think you’re crazy. Or that I am. Or that I’m dead. Dammit, don’t be dead….”

  “You are very much alive, I promise you.”

  “Because you saved me.” Leigh turned around. “A mermaid saved me. Merman.”

  “Folk,” Tolly corrected with a smile. “Though I do not mind anything you wish to call me.”

  With a sigh like finally catching his breath, Leigh came back in through the window, and Tolly backed up to give h
im room. “You aren’t terrible. Startling maybe. Your tail is gorgeous. It’s the fact that you have one that I’m having trouble with.”

  He was so handsome. Tolly loved the way humans looked. He loved the way Leigh looked especially—tan skin, shorn hair, intense and hypnotizing blue eyes like the iciest parts of the ocean. He also loved how Leigh looked at him, curious and unsure but not unkind.

  “You may ask me anything you like,” Tolly said. But oh! He should not have said that. He could not truly answer anything.

  “What happened to your… I mean…. When your tail is out, you’re smooth down there like a fish, like… there’s nothing….” He gestured vaguely in front of himself below the waist.

  Oh.

  “Your sex is always in the open if not clothed. Ours is concealed unless we are using it. Would you like me to show you—”

  “No,” Leigh said before Tolly could undo his towel. “That’s fine. I don’t know if I could handle that right now.” He took another deep breath and nodded. “You’re a merman.”

  “Yes.”

  “And you want to stay with me because you saved my life, and doing that, for some reason, allows you to grow legs whenever you want?”

  “Yes. I have nowhere else to go but back to the water. I do not wish to go back to the water. My kin are cruel to me. Vicious. I do not belong there. Please, do not cast me out—”

  “Hey.” Leigh stepped forward and reached for him, but like before when he had been about to touch Tolly’s tail, he did not complete the act, as if it was not the sort of gesture he had ease finishing. “I’m not casting you out. You saved my life and this is somewhat… insanely… cool that you even exist. Just a lot to take in.”

  “Cool?” Tolly tried to recall the meaning of the word in this context.

  “Amazing. Good.”

  “Oh.” Tolly smiled widely. “Cool.”

  “But I am not someone anyone should want to stay with right now. Those men—”

  “I will help you defeat them,” Tolly said surely. He knew cruelty was not only a trait of his people but existed broadly amongst humans as well. While he had no idea what it felt like to drown, it seemed a torturous thing to do to someone.

  “It isn’t a matter of defeating,” Leigh said. “This isn’t a battle. It’s more complicated than that.”

  “Then explain it to me, and I will help however I can.”

  “No, I… I mean, it’s a long story and—”

  Rapid knocking startled them, rhythmic, like the beat of a song, very different from how Miss Maggie had knocked when she brought Tolly to Leigh’s door.

  She was a fine woman, Tolly had thought, just scolding at having encountered him undressed. He had not been able to find clothing between the river and Leigh’s home, though he knew it would be needed. His only goal had been reaching Leigh. Though admittedly, the pull to Leigh’s location had gotten confusing in a building where people stacked on top of one another, so he had been unsure of which floor was Leigh’s.

  Miss Maggie had been quick to correct him when he went to her apartment instead.

  “Wait!” Leigh called at the continued knocking, familiar with its rhythm and who it belonged to, it seemed, but the person on the other side did not listen.

  A young man entered, thin like Tolly though not as tall, smiling and friendly-looking with smatterings of bright color in his clothing, unlike Leigh’s monochrome.

  “Hey, what was Miss Maggie talking about down—” He stopped short when he saw Tolly and his smile shifted into something sly. “My, my. Who’s the twink?”

  “Alvin,” Leigh admonished, though Tolly was unacquainted with the word.

  “Just calling it like I see it. Good for you. No wonder you didn’t pick up the phone last night.” Alvin sauntered closer with a slow scan down Tolly’s body. He did not seem displeased with Tolly’s form either.

  “That isn’t what happened.” Leigh moved to intercept him. “Wait. You don’t know what happened? You didn’t hear?”

  “Hear what?”

  “Moretti gave me a dip in the river.”

  “What?” The smile dropped from Alvin’s face as he focused on Leigh with a start.

  “Leo Moretti himself had three goons weight my ankles and drop me in to swim with the fishes.” Leigh paused with a glance at Tolly, and his eyes shone wide with sudden fear.

  Tolly might be slow with some things about the human world, but he was not a fool. “I was walking by the shore. I saw what happened and jumped in to save Leigh once the men had gone. I helped him home, and he allowed me to stay with him to get dry.”

  Leigh’s distress instantly receded and he mouthed a silent “thank you.” Tolly would not reveal to anyone but Leigh what he truly was. He knew the dangers in that.

  “Since last night?” Alvin said.

  “We fell asleep.”

  “Sure ya did. A little victim and savior action?” His eyebrows bobbed, but his playfulness turned serious when he looked at Tolly. “You saved Leigh’s life, Stretch. I owe you one.”

  “Stretch? My name is Tolly. Are you a friend of Leigh’s?”

  “His bestest. So I’m allowed to be both jealous and happy for him.” He winked.

  “Nothing happened,” Leigh said.

  “Plenty happened,” Alvin countered. “What are you gonna do about the Morettis? Does Dad know yet?”

  “I was hoping to ask you that.”

  Alvin chewed his lip in thought, eyes darting between Leigh and Tolly. “You two stay put. I’ll do some recon and figure out where we stand. I’m sure Dad will know what to do, and this will all blow over in no time.”

  “I’m sure Dad will be next in line to fit me with cement shoes if I don’t fix this myself.”

  “Relax. We’ll figure it out. First, let me see who knows what. They must not know your address if no one’s here yet. You sit tight, buddy. And you sit pretty, Tinker Bell.” He winked at Tolly again.

  “My name is Tolly, not—”

  “Oh he is adorable. Definitely a keeper.” Alvin scanned Tolly’s body like before. Then, when he turned to Leigh, he tapped him in the center of his chest in a subtle gesture of affection.

  Tolly was used to seeing hugs between humans to express such a thing, but Leigh did not seem comfortably physical in that way. Tolly had a feeling Alvin would have preferred to hug his friend, but he held back as a sign of respect and understanding. Tolly would have to remember that. After all, he would not like it if anyone was physical with him without permission either.

  “I’ll message you as soon as I know something. Be ready to move but take a breather, okay? Treat this fine specimen to breakfast,” Alvin said, scanning one more time along the towel Tolly wore before he turned on his heels.

  He was out the door as swiftly as he had entered, like a quickly moving storm, but Leigh seemed calmed after his appearance. Tolly decided that Alvin was welcome and would be his friend too.

  “He seems nice, ready to rally to your defense. But why does he not refer to me by name?”

  “Don’t worry about it. Just means he likes you. Now… clothes.” Leigh scanned Tolly’s body with far less hunger than Alvin had, more with uncertainty despite the glow in his cheeks. “Let me find you some.”

  Tolly followed him into the bedroom. He was curious about beds and what it would be like to sleep on one. He had only ever floated or cushioned himself on sand. Usually he found dark, hidden places to rest. Leigh’s bed wasn’t overly large, but big enough for two, should Tolly be allowed to share it.

  Leigh pulled out something blue for Tolly’s legs, white for his feet, black to go on before the blue—underwear—and red, a sweater like the darkest parts of Tolly’s tail, for his chest.

  “There. You can, uhh…. Do you understand how to…?” Leigh trailed off when Tolly removed the towel and held it out to him. He thought it damp and perhaps rude to drop it on the floor.

  “Yes? I know where everything goes. I can dress myself.”

  “Gre
at. Good.” Leigh accepted the towel but kept his eyes skyward.

  “It really is all right to look at me.”

  A shaky chuckle fell from Leigh’s lips and there was a brief, bashful flick of his eyes downward before he looked Tolly in the face. “Listen, that whole human decorum thing is important. You can’t act like this with other people.”

  “I understand. I am yours alone. You need not worry.”

  “And what does that mean exactly?”

  Tolly thought of all the stories he knew of love and romance. Coming on “too strong” was often a negative. He needed to be clear to Leigh but not overwhelming. “It means that I hope the kiss I gave you in the water will not be our last.”

  The glow in Leigh’s cheeks darkened to a lovely shade. “I need to focus on one thing at a time. So you put those on, and I’ll see what I have for us to eat.”

  Tolly nodded, but Leigh halted after only a step toward the door.

  “What do merfolk… eat?”

  “We are mostly carnivorous, but I am an omnivore like you. I can eat anything.”

  “Bacon and eggs?”

  “I would love to try that if it is what you wish to eat.”

  “Okay.” Leigh seemed to want to glance down again to look at Tolly but refrained and promptly left the room.

  Tolly was not being shunned. He still had a chance to make this work. He would show Leigh how useful he could be, how well suited they were for each other, how happy he could make him. He started by putting on the clothing Leigh had given him. They were only slightly too large for him and seemed fine when he looked in the mirror on the closet door. He stood perhaps too long taking in his new form, but he liked it very much, even if the legs were an odd replacement for his tail.

  When he ventured out of the bedroom, he found Leigh in the kitchen, from which wafted a wonderful smell as he cooked at the stovetop. “Cooked” was not something Tolly had experienced before either. Everything he ate was raw or still alive.

  “Bacon and eggs must taste delicious. It smells amazing.”

  “Yeah?” Leigh peered at him with a look of relief. “Good, coz I don’t have seafood in this place.”